It has been a really really long time since the last time I talked to you guysez. I thought I had found the love of my life the one I was destin to marry but, yet again my search and my heart tell me differently. I cannot decide what I should do and what I am destin to do. This boyfriend I have now is great but has very rapid mood swings all resulting against me. He's great over all and I love him to death but I am all discurbobulated. I figure he is the, well not the soul reason why I am struggaling in school but, he aids very well. I feel if i break it off with him i will have more time for me and my school so I wont have to stress out about not being able to graduate. Oh and I will, I am so determined to. To get out of this town and well I cant say never come back but. leave for a very ver y long time with no one hearing from me. Dont know where I am going or what I will be doing but, all I know is i am still destin to find that one. Maybe I am about to loose him and make a big mistake that will haunt me for a long time but, I feel as if I need to get my priorities straightend up.
There is also another reason why I am writting to all of you besides that fact that I love you and that I need your guidence. There is also a guy of which will remain nameless for the time being till I figure out what I am goign to do about everything. Talking to him is like talking to a best friend. I spent a few hours just haning out with hium relizing I've liked him since I've known him. He just came home from Basic Traning ( i cant spell worth a crap forgive me ) but, anywho yes we cuddled alot and made out for a few hours till mom flipped out on me and i didnt get home tille after midnight, but that's not my story. I loved every minute of it. He is such a sweetheart yes he's alittle weird but hey he's one of the funniest people to be around. I am so anxious to see him again. I wanted to go out there again today but mom and I have alittle date (lol) we are Johnny Cash fans so we are going to see that movie Walking the Line at like 4 in a half. So that means I get to get out of zero hour again at 4 in a half.
I'm at school right now but hey this is my only chance to get to DA and write to all of you of which I love severly. Sorry it is so long and I am open to any suggestions of which you can provide. Plus the other bf lives three hours awayand the one of which o brag about highly (the nameless one) Know any stress relivers...? DO you think I can manage having the bf here close to me instead of streessing out about the one 3 hours away and all my school stuff. The soon to be one here is willing to help me out when i need it. Love always Spanky